so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize
