census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I don't think brook has ever known best
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
