Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
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