11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
