ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
