I'm pants shitting drunk right now
YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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