just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
It's just like the Real World with babies
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
