why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
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