We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
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