My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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