brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
