'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
