she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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