K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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