is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
