i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
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