playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
