my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
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