I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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