I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
