Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
