And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
