Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Randomize
