My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
