Well apparently he's into motor boating.
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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