Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
This is classic penis vs brain.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
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