Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
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