My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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