Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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