Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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