Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Randomize