what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Randomize
