I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Randomize
