no. you can't hotbox the world.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
