did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
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