Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
