Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
