As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
