Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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