I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
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