Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
