goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I think people are normalizing furries
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
