There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
