Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Randomize
