Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
