She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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