ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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