apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
