The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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