these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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