I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
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