In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
