i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
